AN ADULT , NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town,
No creature you'd call Mr. Right could be found,
The vibrator hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that new batteries, soon, would be there.
The doorman was sleeping, his desk for a bed,
Whilst dreaming the Spice Girls were giving him head,
And Debbie in a nightie looking her best,
Had just settled in for a long winter's rest,
When out in the hall arose such a clatter,
Debbie sprang from her bed to see what was the matter!
Across the apartment she flew like a streak,
Opened the door, down the hall, took a peek.
The light on her breasts made them glisten like gold,
And showed how her nipples stood out from the cold,
When who to her still-drowsy eyes should appear?
But Timothy Durrant with drinks and a leer.
Dressed in a beard and red suit like St. Nickie,
He clearly was thinking of getting a quickie.
When he spotted her breasts, to his face a grin came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
"Wow, Boobies! Wow, Puppies! So round and so lissom!
Oh Debbie, sweet Debbie, please can't I just kiss 'em?"
"You can't kiss them, or feel them, or touch them at all.
And to ask me at Christmas you sure have some gall!"
Durrant, crestfallen, was crushed - he could tell,
In Debbie's eyes he was Santa from hell.
As he staggered away, Debbie blearily stammered,
"He's nice enough sober, but not when he's hammered."
Just then in a twinkling, she heard on the roof,
A sudden noise - could it be the return of that goof?
And then before Debbie could get back to bed,
He came down the chimney and crashed on his head.
Still dressed all in red, with accents of white,
He was covered in soot and out like a light.
A bagful of goodies lay strewn on the floor,
Labelled Prada, Armani and Christian Dior!
His eyes were so glassy, so bruised was his head,
Her thought, while not classy, was, "Oh darn, he's dead!"
So she breathed in his mouth, to get a reaction,
And did, in the form of a giant erection.
Suddenly warmth came back to his lips.
His hands stroked her breasts and cradled her hips.
He nibbled her neck and caressed her flat belly.
Her nerves got all tingly, her knees turned to jelly.
She was starting to waver, she felt a warm pang,
But she was saved by the bell when the telephone rang.
Who could be calling at such a strange time?
Surprise! It was Timothy's voice on the line!
She spoke not a word, her head started to swim.
Who had she been kissing? Could it really be him?
Then laying a finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
Debbie thought, he was sexy, and virile and bold!
But the real Santa Claus is a thousand years old!
Then we heard him exclaim, flying North to Niagara,
Merry Christmas to all and thank God for Viagra!.
I have a better version but I think it may upset a few sensative people.
~ M E R R Y ~
~ C H R I S T M A S ~
To each and every one of you.
Red ;D
