Church of abstinence

[desmorse]

3 couples wanted to join a religious group.
All 3 attended classes to learn the way of the church, and were then set 1 final task by the priest.
"You have all learnt our ways well" said the priest. "You have just 1 final act of commitment to undertake. You must abstain from any form of sex for 1 month."
A month passes, and the 3 couples return to the church.
The priest turns to the first, elderly couple. "Have you abstained from sex for a month?" "yes" they replied. No problem"
"Welcome to our church. Please enter and join the congregation" said the priest.
He then turned to the second, middle aged couple and asks "Have you abstained from sex for a month?". "Yes" said the chap. "It wasn't easy, but we did it"
"Welcome to our church. Please enter and join the congregation" said the priest.
He then turned to the final, newly married couple. "Have you abstained from sex for a month?" he asked. "No" said the chap, rather crest fallen. "We were OK for about 3 weeks, then I turned around and my wife was getting dinner out of the freezer. Well, with her bending over the chest, her tight skirt pulling up and highlighting her legs and buttocks .......... well I just couldn't help myself. I took her there and then"
" I'm afraid your not welcome at our church" said the priest.
"No", replied the chap, "we're not welcome at Tesco any more either" ;D ;D ;D ;D

[RED]

desmorse said:

3 couples wanted to join a religious group.
All 3 attended classes to learn the way of the church, and were then set 1 final task by the priest.
"You have all learnt our ways well" said the priest. "You have just 1 final act of commitment to undertake. You must abstain from any form of sex for 1 month."
A month passes, and the 3 couples return to the church.
The priest turns to the first, elderly couple. "Have you abstained from sex for a month?" "yes" they replied. No problem"
"Welcome to our church. Please enter and join the congregation" said the priest.
He then turned to the second, middle aged couple and asks "Have you abstained from sex for a month?". "Yes" said the chap. "It wasn't easy, but we did it"
"Welcome to our church. Please enter and join the congregation" said the priest.
He then turned to the final, newly married couple. "Have you abstained from sex for a month?" he asked. "No" said the chap, rather crest fallen. "We were OK for about 3 weeks, then I turned around and my wife was getting dinner out of the freezer. Well, with her bending over the chest, her tight skirt pulling up and highlighting her legs and buttocks .......... well I just couldn't help myself. I took her there and then"
" I'm afraid your not welcome at our church" said the priest.
"No", replied the chap, "we're not welcome at Tesco any more either" ;D ;D ;D ;D

Speaking of Tesco,
Did any of you know they have a policy called Refund and retain.
In other words, If the goods you buy are priced at one price on the shelf but they go through the till at a more expensive price, even a penny. You can go to the customer services and ask for the R and R.
You get a full Refund and you Retain the goods. I just recently got a Navman for nothing and a few other bits and pieces.
Read this thread if you are interested.

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=330596&page=19
The last page is the most up to date stuff.

Red