European union

[glen]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling has some room for improvement and accepted a 5-year phase-in plan for what will become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Augustus]

vet goodt.

P.

[nonails]

Hi Motters

Thanks for responding to the call for a
" Where's my Money and Statement" section on this site..

Can you transfer into it all the commission queries that have been posted in the past few days, as Maybe I too am already seeing a "thread" so to speak.

Strange that its only me having a problem with commission and getting my dosh, strange too that its only you, strange too that its probably dozens of others who are having "individual problems"..

If so then why has Dawn in Commissions got best part of 600 emails last week alone--according to my one trustworthy contact in Nottingham--. I certainly did not send 300, and probably neither did you.!!!

Also if we have a dedicated section, theres a better chance of someone with a brain at Hillarys picking up on it--rather than seeing postings in passing on the " last 20" slot.

Thinks after typing---Is there someone with a brain at Hillarys.?

No dont go there.

THIS COMMISSION THING IS TOO IMPORTANT AND TOO INDICATIVE OF DEEP-SEATED PROBLEMS NOT BEING ADDRESSED IN A TIMELY FASHION FOR US TO REDUCE IT TO A SLANGING MATCH.

KEEP IT SERIOUS.

FOR A START , BEAR, AND MYSELF HAVE SEEN SIMILAR BEHAVIOUR AS REGARDS MONEY AT NOW DEFUNCT, BUST, PREVIOUS EMPLOYERS AND I FIRMLY BELIVE THIS
SAYING OF JOHN F. KENNEDYS

" If it looks like a bear, acts like a bear, smells like a bear, and fights like a bear--then chances are its a bear and not a plate of cookies" Sorry Advisor Bear!!!

If Hillarys sincerely want to hack everyone off then mess with our money.
If you want us all singing from the same hymn-sheet then PLEASE get commissions up-to-date.

You have been warned.

If you know another Advisor who does not use this site, then it is your duty to at least tell him of this money problem, as he is probably thinking "Its just him"

No nails

[Bear]

Motters

Thanks for coming back on the idea of a " Commission thingy-up" part of the site.

Just popped back home for guess what

A complete set of brackets for 25mm wooden vens--5 blinds sold and not a blessed bracket in any of the boxes.
Hillarys blinds ==Made by Muppets, marketed by Twits,
Sold by Geniuses,fitted by Skilled bodgers, and bought by the Gullible..
Sorry 18 miles extra round trip and missed appointment
now pushed into the 8pm/9pm slot because I have to cover Hillarys back again.....Why do I bother?

Seriously though This MONEY THING IS WORRYING ME

Bear.

[JoY]

I have forwarded some of the comments on to Dawn, with the suggestion she reads the rest on the web site.
Having said that.... I doubt it is Dawns fault as I have always found her really helpful...she is just perhaps snowed under with advisors chasing their money (including me!)..... although I HAVE been getting emailed statements each week.